Death Note: The Video Game

Original Medium: manga series chronicling the tale of a boy who finds a book that allows him to kill anyone he wants provided a few rules.

Point: it's like Scribblenauts, but you type people's names in. This will also have very clunky platforming controls, and a nonsensical story. (just think of chibi Light in Scribblenauts!)

Harold and Kumar: Hot Buns

Original Medium: a movie about two friends who get stoned and travel great distances to find a White Castle, all along the way encountering racism.

Synopsis: Harold and Kumar as a homoerotic tale. That's it. That's all there is to this idea. There is a single line that was created by my colleague, reddthefoxx.

"Harold bent Kumar over the greasy, scratched White Castle table, and exposed his thick hot member."

So... yea. Post if you seriously want to hear more.

Bust-a-Move! (Bubble Bobble)

Tagline: Prepare to have your bubbles bobbled...

Original Medium: arcade game "Bubble Bobble". Two dinosaur-monster-things go through 99 levels of a cave to save their girlfriends from the evil wizard Grumplegrommet, who turns out to be your parents under an evil spell.

Opening lines: Barry: "Life's a hell of a thing. For the most part, you go through the motions and nothing changes. Nothing needs to change. It's the same old song and dance you've done a million times or more. But every once in a while, and I'm talking a while, you need to get out and Bust a Move." Intro credits.

Full Synopsis: Bob and Barry were orphans who grew up together at the same orphanage in Southern Florida, raised by Sister Margret Mary (Ellen Barkin). Throughout their years, she warned them not to go into the "Cave of Monsters", a cave underneath a dormant volcano filled with all sorts of evil creatures. In the orphanage there were many books on the seven gods of the world: Endelor god of Wind, Xanitumas god of Fire, Tolmak god of Steel, Ernmacia god of Earth, Nezbatusk god of Water, Dwinkla god of Light, and Grumplegrommet god of Darkness.

Years passed by without incident and Bob (Ethan Hawke) and Barry (Nathan Fillion) get a strange package from Sister Margret Mary containing two medallions each with an encircled dragon emblem, one made of jade, one made of cobalt. Soon after, they hear from another fellow orphan, Betty (Jennifer Garner), that Sister Margret Mary has disappeared.When they get back to the orphanage, they meet Detective Rouge (Russell Crowe), the lead investigator on her case. The only thing out of place in the whole building is an obsidian rock on Sister Margret Mary's desk. Their thoughts go to the Cave of Monsters and Bob and Barry decide to go spelunking in search of her. Betty offers to help, but Bob tells her someone needs to look after the orphans while Sister Margret Mary is gone. She reluctantly agrees and the duo set out for the cave with the Detective in step.

A couple of yards in, there's a steep drop and an exciting rock climbing scene occurs filled with close calls, falling rocks, and shouts of "hang on!". Detective Rouge dies in this scene to show what could happen. Bob and Barry fall from a fairly high height and are unconscious.

They awake to find that Nikola Tesla (David Bowie) is still alive, and is accompanied by his friend and collaborator, Sir Isaac Newton (Johnathan Price). It is revealed that the elusive Fountain of Youth is actually deep within the cave. Bob asks about Sister Margret Mary. Neither have seen her, but speak of Grumplegrommet recently entering the cave. The "brothers" both jump up when they hear this name. Newton shrugs off their request to be lead deeper until he sees the medallions they received. Tesla gives them each an Encapsulation Laser gun, coats, and a flashlight, which he says they might not even need.

So the "brothers" go exploring deeper into the cavern and come across a figure. It hinds behind a rock and is questioned by Barry. The figure turns out to be a mechanical man named Zen (voice of Louis C.K.), one of many made by Tesla and Newton who has a large Z on his chest and a wind up mechanism on his back. Decades ago, the men were built in an effort to make the cave hospitable. Grumplegrommet took control of most of these men, but Zen had run away before he could be taken over. Bob asks him to help them navigate through the caves, and he agrees. Barry has a bit of a problem with this, but lets it slide due to the situation.

Down a new corridor, luminescent algae line the walls and ceiling. This continues for the rest of the movie in various colors such as blue, orange, yellow, and purple.

Next is their first encounter with a group of the possessed machine men that Zen was talking about. They have a fight with the Encapsulation Laser showing that it encases its target in a glowing sphere and drifts them upwards.

After the fight, they walk some more and find a small village populated by people who look like they've come from a medieval story. They walk around town and befriend a few people including the ever-sensual Victoria (Eva Mendes). The "brothers" spend much time in the town, but Zen tells them that they need to go before things get hectic. Victoria seduces Barry, and just before they consummate the relationship, her mouth unhinges and she shows that the whole town is a bunch of freaky demons. Bob and Barry fend them off and Zen cowers in the corner. After capturing Victoria herself, the sphere pops and a glowing orb with lots of circles running parallel and perpendicular to each other. This turns out to be encasing Ernmacia (voice of Grey DeLisle), the goddess of Earth, who traps the village in a rock slide, and promptly leaving.

They journey forward, and find a glowing sphere with a large cross on it. Bob touches it, and it disipates and reforms as a being with tentacle hair who claims to be Xanitumas (voice of Micheal Dorn) and tells them of what Grumplegrommet has been up to. He has gone rogue from the council of gods, and plans to take over the world using the fountain of youth to turn everyone into raving addicts and crush humanity. As a precaution, he has trapped the other six gods in spheres like the one he was in, and that they must find the other five spheres so that they can overpower Grumplegrommet and restore balance. He also makes an incoherent remark at Zen, but none of them get it and he vanishes away.

They continue down the corridors, when they come to a vast cavern filled with flying purple whales with 19 eyes. They are in awe at the sight, until they see Zen beckoning them to come behind a rock. They are confused at first, until one of the whales charges at them, at which point they hide and hear the voice of Xanitumas again. He explains that the whales are demon minions of Grumplegrommet, held in by a shield put in place by Endelor. They would have no problem, if the whales don't see them, but since the first one saw them, they are now a target. There is an epic fight, and all but one are captured. The last one starts charging at them faster than the others had been. Thankfully, he can't see very well, so they stay positioned behind a rock waiting for a good shot.

Time passes by, and they still haven't gotten the last one, which Barry nicknames "Lasty". Suddenly, Grumplegrommet appears (Stacy Keach) and summons a being only known as Monsta (Kevin Spacey), a large skeletal whale with six arms. Monsta hunts Bob and Barry down, but stops when Zen comes between them. Barry starts trying to shoot Monsta, but nothing else seems to work. Bob takes this distraction to his advantage and encapsulates Lasty, which makes the barrier collapse and all must flee from the imploding cave. They make it out, but Grumplegrommet gets away, and Monsta is returned to his holding crystal.

An orb with many parallel and perpendicular lines escapes and Barry touches this freeing Endelor (stock audio of James Mason) who disappears, just as Xanitumas had.

They continue on, capturing monsters and machine men, when they come across a river. Zen suggests that it's connected to the fountain of youth, and are warned to stay away from it. Barry, however suggests they ride the river using an inflatable raft he has packed in his backpack. Zen is hesitant, but the "brothers" convince him to go along with the idea. They raft down, but hit some rapids and are forced to fight the water's flow, else get thrown into the adictive liquid. Barry, is jossled out, but Bob grabs his hand, both hanging on for dear life, when the rapids stop and Barry gets tossed out into the pond they've landed in. Bob paddles out in search of him, and can't find him for a bit. Finally Barry comes back up, and with him, floats up an orb with only two lines on it: one around the top, and one dissecting the bottom perpendicular. This is Tolmak (voice of Wendee Lee), and she thanks them and disappears.

Bob checks Barry for any signs of Fountain of Youth dependency, but Zen suggests that he might have been mistaken. The water from the river needed to enter the Sacred Chamber for it to be fountain of youth water. Barry smacks Zen upside the head, and they realize they need to climb up to continue on.

The three climb up, when large bats appear and begin to attack them. After a confrontation, they get to the top, where they find a round rock. Bob kicks it and it begins to glow. Knowing what this means, they start smashing this rock against walls and eventually it floats like the others, and shows itself as Dwinkla (voice of Kevin Sorbo). Dwinkla thanks them, and opens a flat rock wall which takes them to another corridor leading to the Sacred Chamber.

Bob, Barry, and Zen make it to the end of the cave and find Grumplegrommet standing at a large alter in front of a pool with various springs flowing into it. It's a very pretty sight. Barry wants to charge ahead and confront Grumplegrommet, but Bob realizes two things. One, they don't know where Sister Margret Mary is and they only have five of the six gods. Barry is confused because they've traveled the the whole cave and there's not a place they haven't found. That's when the five gods appear, and tell Zen the reason he wasn't under Grumplegrommet's control. He was an Avatar for the water god, Nezbatusk, and the orb was underneath the Z, which rotates 90 degrees to become an N and is removed from his chest.

With all six gods collected, Barry and Bob confront Grumplegrommet, who pulls down his hood and reveals himself to be Sister Margret Mary. The two are supremely surprised, and have trouble capturing the woman who raised them.

That's when Xanitumas leads the gods into the medallions they were given and the encircled dragons appear before them. Xanitumas claims that these are the Dragons Ulmasiter and Rikewila, and that they will drive Grumplegrommet out of Sister Margret Mary's body. A struggle occurs and just as Xanitumas said, Grumplegrommet is driven out of Sister Margret Mary's body. With the god of darkness driven out into his pure form, a large octopus like creature, Bob and Barry are ordered to fire the Encapsulation Lasers to capture him. They don't work, and that's when Bob gets an idea. He takes out the flashlight that Tesla gave him and shines it at Grumplegrommet, visibly weakening him. Barry follows Bob's lead, and then both capture the dark god, sealing him in a sphere like the ones they rescued the other gods from.

Both walk over to Sister Margret Mary, who is just now waking up, and have a triumphant laugh. But then, the cave starts collapsing around them, closing out the way they came. Bob asks Xanitumas to open up the cave, but he says after forming the Dragons Ulmasiter and Rikewila they don't have that much energy. Saddened, he turns to his "brother" and "mother" and tells them of the bad news.

But then, a ray of light pops forth onto Bob's hand, and they all look up to see the gods collectively opening up the ceiling and dropping a vine latter down to the tree of them. They climb up, to find that they are now on a tropical island. Barry goes to ask the gods where they are, the hole closes back up and there's no response.

The movie ends with the three sitting on the beach, looking out into the water, and there's a voice over from Barry."Yep, sometimes you've got to Bust a Move. But you've got to watch out how far you bust, because you just might move too far, and end up stranded with no way of knowing how to get home. All you can do is be thankful that you're not somewhere creepy and stupid, like, say... Rainbow Island."

An Introduction to How Things Will Work

Hello. I am DeChunk, here to bring you Terrible Adaptation Ideas! from every corner of the imagination. No medium will be left out in our quest to create the worst adaptations of your childhood memories, scarring you for life, but more importantly making you laugh at it's plausibility at the hands of Hollywood producers. Note that these are not real, and have been made up with the sole purpose of diving face first into cliche and tangenting into the derivitive. So with no further prolonging, enjoy these Terrible Adaptation Ideas!